                      A brief introduction
                      --------------------

 Welcome to "The Final Grandson of Wowbagger", a third-generation 
program which is probably the most tasteless and insulting little 
accessory you're likely ever to have other people - or yourself - 
stumble across.

 The  accessory's full name is "The Automated Final  Grandson  of 
Wowbagger Still the Infinitely Prolonged", indirectly named after 
the  rather infamous character featured in the first  chapter  of 
Douglas  Adams' hilariously funny book "Life,  the  Universe  and 
Everything".
 For  those  who  don't  know:   After  some  problems  involving 
something elastic and time travelling, Wowbagger became immortal. 
He  thought this was rather nice,  but as time progressed he  got 
kinda fed up with everything. So he set out to insult every being 
in the entire universe, in alphabetic order.
 So there. This is automated version of this immortal being - or, 
rather, as this is already the seventh (and now probably *really* 
the  last,  and  certainly the best) version of  this  particular 
accessory, the Final Grandson Of.
 Wowbagger  himself,  as well as any of his  offspring,  can  now 
retire.

                     Public Domain products
                     ----------------------

 The  products mentioned in this bit,  just like the  product  to 
which this documentation file belongs to,  are freeware, i.e. you 
can  copy  them freely and you don't have to pay for  using  them 
unless you really feel you want to (which would be nice).

- The Background Music Utility (BMU)
  Working  on the ST can be tedious.  Wouldn't it be nice if  you 
  had  one  of about 50 different pieces of nice  music  sedately 
  running  in  the  background,  using the  ST's  built-in  sound 
  routines (which' capacity you should not  underestimate)?  Then 
  this accessory is perfect for you.
- Speedwriter II
  A somewhat older 'interactive animated correspondence' utility, 
  including its GfA Basic 2.0 source.  With this,  it is possible 
  to send remarkable letters that you can see being typed as  you 
  look, including all cursor movements. Just a nice titbit.
- Handy Plus
  A tiny accessory that allows you to do three things: Access the 
  file  selector (handy when using one like "UIS  III"),  Specify 
  date & time, and freeze the system until a password is entered. 
  A source is included so that you can easily adapt the password, 
  and then compile it again (using GfA Basic 3.x).
- Name Creator
  Although  this program will only appeal to those  into  reading 
  and  writing fantasy fiction,  this utility will be  useful  to 
  those  who  generally  need to think up fantasy  names  in  the 
  category of dwarves,  elves,  etc. Using a database of existing 
  parts of names (taken from  Donaldson,  Tolkien,  Weis/Hickman, 
  McCaffrey and Herbert, among others), you will be amazed at the 
  quality  of the many thousands of different names this  program 
  can come up with.  Creating anagrams is also possible -  though 
  doing  this  with large names will use  LOTS  of  memory.  This 
  program  is  being used professionally by a games  company  for 
  their role playing games.  Word parts can be added,  a  history 
  can be kept, etc...

                     The "Wowbagger" Manual
                     ----------------------

 Simply  copy  the WOWBAGGR.ACC file into the root  directory  of 
your boot drive.  In case you do not have a hard disk,  this will 
be A, and in case you DO have a harddisk this will most likely be 
C.  After booting your system,  the "Final Grandson of Wowbagger" 
will lie lurking in the background, invisible to the world.
 Until it hits, that is.
 This  accessory is slightly 'illegal' (in the  definition  Atari 
gives to the word, that is) - it does not occupy a desk accessory 
slot in the 'Desk' pull-down menu.  This represents no  problems. 
It even works together with the "Chameleon" accessory loader.
 Even though "Final Grandson of Wowbagger" occupies no  accessory 
slot,  this  does  not mean you can suddenly have more  than  six 
accessories  installed!  This limit still remains (at least  with 
non-"MultiTOS" Operating Systems).
 AT  ALL  TIMES you should make sure the WOWBAGGR.CNF is  in  the 
root directory of drive C,  even when the accessory is  somewhere 
else  (like  in a "C:\ACCS\" folder).  Before you use  it  as  an 
accessory for the first time, always check if the settings are to 
your liking.  I am sorry,  but it won't run off floppy without  a 
configuration file in the root of drive C.

 CONFIGURATION MODE

 "WOWBAGGR.ACC" can be renamed to "WOWBAGGR.PRG".  If you execute 
the  program  then,  with  the configuration  file  in  the  same 
directory, you will enter the built-in editor, which can edit the 
relevant accessory parameters which are the following:

 INSULT INTERVAL IN MINUTES AND SECONDS (1 to 60 minutes)
  Sets the intervals at which curses will be flung on the  screen 
  and/or printer, with an accuracy of 1 second.
 OUTPUT TO PRINTER/SCREEN/BOTH
  Determines  whether  curses  should appear  on  a  printer  (if 
  connected), screen, or both.
 NUMBER OF INSULTS PER ACTIVATION (1-5)
  Specifies  the amount of curses that will be put on the  screen 
  in one fell swoop.
 CURSE RATING (U, PGA or XXX)
  Internally the words have been rated somewhat.  "U" (Universal) 
  is pretty harmless but insulting nonetheless.  "PGA"  (Parental 
  Guidance  Advised) is already pretty raunchy and "XXX"  (Triple 
  X  Rated) contains all the words after which your parents  told 
  you  to wash your mouth (or even more  drastic  things).  These 
  include blatantly sexist,  profane and counter-religious words, 
  and a lot worse.
 LANGUAGE (English or Dutch)
  There are many more English than Dutch curses,  but it might be 
  fun to see a few Dutch curses.  To Dutch people (or people from 
  Belgium,  or  even  South  Africa) they  might  actually  prove 
  useful. It should be noted that only the actual curse mode will 
  be fully in Dutch when selected.  Configuration mode is  always 
  in English.

 By default, screen and printer output are enabled (if no printer 
is  connected or on-line this will be no problem) and the  insult 
time is set to five minutes (quantity is set to 5). Default curse 
rating  is "U" and default language is English.  You can  imagine 
what  fun  it  would be to put the accessory  on  someone's  boot 
disk/partition with a high time limit and printer output only. He 
will  never notice it until he has turned on his printer and  is, 
for  example,   printing  out  something.   "Final  Grandson   of 
Wowbagger"  can  interrupt  any GEM application as  well  as  any 
printing going on at the moment,  and will spill the insult  (for 
example  in the middle printing an official  document...limitless 
loadsa hard-core fun!) without mercy.
 When  entering  configuration mode,  the "SAVE" button  will  be 
default.  Once  you have saved your settings,  the "EXIT"  button 
will be default.  At all times you can alternatively press [UNDO] 
to exit or [HELP] for the "About" dialog.
 Once  the  parameters have been edited,  all you need to  do  is 
rename  the file to something ending in ".ACC" and make sure  the 
configuration  file  ("WOWBAGGR.CNF") in the  root  directory  of 
drive C.  It should be noted that this configuration file is  NOT 
compatible with that of versions of the program prior to 4.2.

 USING WOWBAGGER FROM A COMMAND LINE

 Enthusiastic  "Wowbagger"  user  Simon  Kagedal  proposed   that 
perhaps   the  program  might  be  used  from  a   command   line 
interpreter,  so that in theory other programs could make use  of 
the "Wowbagger" swearing capabilities.
 His wish was my command.  So,  as of version 4.242,  "Wowbagger" 
can handle the following parameters:

 -U, -P, -X    These set the rating; Universal, Parental Guidance 
               and XXX respectively.

 -NL, -GB      These   set  the  language;   Dutch  and   English 
               respectively.

 -F, -S, -B    These   set   the  output;   to  a   file   called 
               "INSULT.TXT",  the screen,  or both  respectively. 
               The "INSULT.TXT" file gets each new line of output 
               added  at  its end,  so it collects  all  swearing 
               words as it were.

 [text]        The  text  that  should be  displayed  before  the 
               insult.

 [W]           The  text before the insult will be of the  format 
               "Wowbagger says: ".

 [text C]      The  text  will appear as  you  specify,  but  the 
               program will supply the "says: " variant.  The "C" 
               stands for "custom", i.e. it's the same as [W] but 
               with another name instead.

 {text}        The  text  that  should  be  displayed  after  the 
               insult.

 If no language is specified,  English is used.  If no rating  is 
specified,  "Universal"  is used.  If no front text is  supplied, 
none is used.  If no trailer text is supplied, "!" will be added. 
Only  one curse is generated each time the program is  called  in 
command line mode.
 Do  note that the "Wowbagger" configuration file is  not  loaded 
and correspondingly not evaluated in command line mode!

 Examples:

 -B{.}         Will  output  to file  and  screen,  with  default 
               language and rating settings.  The curse will like 
               "a  very  sad  individual".  It is  trailed  by  a 
               period.

 [W]           Will output to screen only,  with default language 
               and  rating  settings.  The  curse  will  be  like 
               "Wowbagger intones:  You are actually an awesomely 
               strange being". It is trailed by the default "!".

 -F[Peter c]-P-GB{, you know that?}
               Will output to file only,  in English, with rating 
               set to "Parental Guidance".  The curse is preceded 
               by   something  like  "Peter  screams:   You   are 
               actually ".  The curse itself is standard, trailed 
               by ", you know that?"

 These parameters can be given in any order and in upper or lower 
case.  It  is  important  that the texts have  both  opening  and 
closing identifiers or else they will be  ignored.  Specification 
of no trailing text will cause a "!" to be displayed by default.
 For the program to work in command line mode,  it must be run by 
another program with specification of a command line, or executed 
from the desktop after having been renamed to "WOWBAGGR.TTP". Not 
specifying  a  command line at all will cause the program  to  be 
entered in configuration mode, so you must always supply at least 
one parameter!

 IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY

 Should you ever yourself be surprised by a sudden appearance  of 
swearing words on your monitor (whether because you  accidentally 
left  it on yourself or because some evil person put it  on  your 
boot  partition),  there  is a way out.  Simply leave  the  curse 
screen whilst keeping the [ALTERNATE] key pressed.
 No  further  insults will appear on screen and/or printer  -  at 
least not until you boot again.

 PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING

 There are some really nasty insults possible with this program -
as a matter of fact,  of all the literally millions and  millions 
of possible insults only a couple are somewhat mild in one way or 
another.  So  nobody  under 18 should use it,  unless  they  have 
really liberal parents.
 Some *really* gross word have been included,  so  beware!  Don't 
write to me and say I haven't warned you.
 If  it  comforts you to know that I was pissed out of  my  skull 
during the creation of this program: I was berzerkedly drunk when 
I  created most of it.  Also see the note at the very end of  the 
manual.
 Oh  yeah.  Nearly forgot.  A total of 4,537,297,157,148  (that's 
over  4 and a half TRILLION!!) curses are possible.  Even if  you 
install the accessory's parameters to 5 curses to be displayed at 
the  smallest interval - one minute - it will take you well  over 
1,730,000 years of non-stop computing to see them all (given that 
no insults appear twice, which is quite unlikely not to happen).
 That's  quite  a long time.  Almost twice as long as  the  human 
species has roamed the earth, as a matter of fact.

 THE THEORY

 Well,  there isn't much to say really. Basically it has a couple 
of long lists of words. One contains only adverbs (very, grossly, 
insubordinately,  etc.), another one only adjectives (big, small, 
putrid) which is followed by nouns (git, twat, horse). Some nouns 
(I believe they're called non-count nouns or mass nouns) can have 
something  like  "load of" in front of them - so there's  also  a 
list of words along that line (bag full of, toilet full of). This 
latter category also has an extra adjective added (say, "bag full 
of RANCID milk").
 And that,  basically,  is all there is to it.  It is based on an 
original  idea  by  Stefan Posthuma  and  Dave  Bloemendaal,  but 
"Wowbagger"  is  much more naughty and doesn't  limit  things  to 
Dutch.

 OTHER VERSIONS

 Quite an enormous while ago,  in August 1989,  I made the  first 
version  of "Wowbagger" for the disk magazine "ST NEWS".  It  has 
been spread reasonably effectively. The difference with the later 
versions was that the number of insults per activation could  not 
be  changed  and that about 1.5 BILLION swearing words  could  be 
generated  with it.  In this version I used the second part of  a 
swearing  word  (the adjective) twice.  So you  would  get  "very 
RANCID PUTRID sissy" or something like that.  A slightly  changed 
version (1.0 editable version) was released several weeks later.
 As  of the second version,  the middle bit was only  used  once. 
This reduced the amount of curses possible, but on the other hand 
I  had added about twice as many words so the fun was  more  than 
doubled. And, of course, You could press "Help" while a curse was 
on  screen to get some credits.  This second version  was  called 
"Version Integrale" and was done on July 14th 1991.
 The  third  version  was  called  "Son  of  Wowbagger"  and  was 
basically  a  revamp of the second version.  The editor  was  now 
built  in  (whereas an external program  did  that  before),  the 
accessory was now compressed,  and quite a lot of words had  been 
added  again.  It was released on February 24th  1993.  A  slight 
rehash,  the  Final Son,  was done on March 17th 1993  (it  could 
create about 30 million additional swearing words).  The  version 
number was then 3.01.
 The  fifth  version,  at  the time proclaimed to  be  the  FINAL 
version (3.5) was released on May 25th 1993.  It had yet  another 
enormous  amount of words added,  totalling to a possible half  a 
billion different curses. I genuinely intended it to be the final 
version, but...
 The  sixth version (version 4.2) was  reached,  too,  on  August 
14th 1994.  Nothing about it was proclaimed to be  final,  though 
chances were substantially bigger that it might very well be.  Of 
course a lot of words were added once more,  but more things  had 
changed.  For  starters  it now used a  GEM-compatible  interface 
(courtesy  of Gregor Duchalski's "FlyDials") and had  some  added 
switches  ("English/Dutch" and "U/PGA/XXX" curse filth  ratings). 
Between the "bowl full of" insult segment and the following  mass 
noun there was now a random adjective too. The crash boot problem 
present up to and including the fifth version was also fixed, and 
it  was now even compatible with "MultiTOS" as well as  "Geneva". 
Those  compatiblity  problems  were the excuse  behind  that  new 
version in the first place.  It's not as if I was actually having 
fun or anything.
 And  then,  even to my own  considerably  befuddlement,  version 
4.242 got released on August 5th 1995.  Simon Kagedal had written 
and  asked about a TTP version that could output swearing  words, 
and his wish was a command.  Some more stuff was added, including 
a few swearing words, significantly increasing the grand total. A 
few typos were fixed,  too,  as well as a bug that made sure  the 
ratings  system didn't work (swearing was  always  X-rated).  The 
total amount of possible insults was more than doubled, too, from 
over  2  trillion to about 4.5 trillion (the  amount  of  English 
curses was multiplied by about 2.25;  the amount of Dutch  curses 
by a factor of 3).
 It  is not likely at all that there'll be  further  versions.  I 
know I've said this before, but I am pretty sure this time.

 LITERATURE

 Well, I am actually slightly proud to say that none of the words 
used are fictitious - even though many may very much seem  so.  I 
used   a  standard  dictionary,   a  special   "Superior   People 
Dictionary" by Peter Bowler,  and the help of some song lyrics as 
well as,  in the earliest version,  the invaluable assistance  of 
Tim  and Dave of The Lost Boys.  The gross words are  either  off 
Dave  or  off Carcass' "Symphonies of Sickness"  CD  lyrics.  The 
third  version also incorporated a lot of new words from  various 
dictionaries   (most   notably  amongst  which  is   "Slang   and 
Euphemisms"  by Richard Spears) as well as quite a lot  of  words 
heard  on the BBC series "Red Dwarf".  Further versions had  more 
"Red Dwarf" bits added,  primarily.  Further credits go to "Birds 
of a Feather", "Beavis & Butthead", the Disk Busters Association, 
Joseph Heller, "Blackadder" and various Thesauri.
 The Dutch part of version 4.2 was based on the original  program 
written  in  1987 by Stefan Posthuma and  Dave  Bloemendaal  with 
strange  word  assistance by Jordy.  A lot of  Dutch  words  have 
afterwards   been  added,   inspired  by  Eric  Schreurs'   "Joop 
Klepzeiker" and "Geharrebar". And life.

                           The Address
                           -----------

 I can be reached at the following address.  There,  I would like 
to  receive  possible  donations too (given the  fact  that  this 
particular  accessory  guarentees  at least  1,730,000  years  of 
entertainment, I should think that's worth something)!

 Richard Karsmakers
 P.O. Box 67
 NL-3500 AB Utrecht
 The Netherlands
 Email: r.c.karsmakers@stud.let.ruu.nl

 It should be noted that the email address may not be valid after 
the summer of 1996.
 The  program on this disk and its manual are copyright  1995  by 
Richard  Karsmakers.  However,  you may copy them as much as  you 
want  as  long as the package remains complete  (i.e.  program  + 
document file + other associated files).
 Death to The Men With Suits!
 By the way,  I was quite sober when I made the program.  I think 
this kind of thing should be possible in this day and age. If not 
for anything else, I made this program to make a statement.
 I just wish to have you know that.

 Utrecht, the Netherlands, August 5th 1995
