 BLONDE JOKES
]--------------

 Written by MUT


[   A  few quick BLONDE jokes that  I've
[compiled over the years.

 The  opinions expressed below  do  not
necessarily  relect those of the editor
etc etc blah blah blah...

]Q:What do you call a blonde with half a
]brain ?
A:Gifted !

]Q:Why  is  it  good to  have  a  blonde
]passenger?
A:You can park in the handicap zone.


]Q:What  is  the  difference  between  a
]blonde and a super market trolley ?
A:A super market trolley has a mind  of
it's own !

]Q:How do you make a blonde's eyes light
]up?
A:Shine a flashlight in their ear.

]Q:Why  should   blondes  not  be  given
]coffee breaks?
A:It takes too long to retrain them.

]Q:Why do blondes wear shoulder pads ?
A:(With a rocking of the head from side
to side)
          I dunno!

]Q:How do you kill a blonde?
A:Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

]Q:Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A:They can't figure out how to get  two
cups   of   water  into  those   little
packages.

]Q:What's the mating call of the blonde?
A:"I'm *sooo* drunk!"

]Q:What  is  the  mating  call  of   the
]brunette ?
A:"All the blondes have gone home!"

]Q:What  is  the  mating  call  of   the
]redhead?
A:"Next!"

]Q:Why  do Blondes have  TGIF  on  their
]shoes ?
A:Toes go in first.

]Q:What  do  you call a brunette with  a
]blonde on either side?
A:An interpreter.

]Q:What does a blonde say when you  blow
]in their ear?
A:"Thanks for the refill!"

]Q:Why do blondes have more fun ?
A:Because they don't know any better.

]Q:How  many  blondes does  it  take  to
]change a lightbulb ?
A1:"What's a lightbulb?"
A2:One. S/he holds  the  bulb  and  the
world revolves round her/him.

]Q:How can you tell if a  blonde's  been
]using the computer?
A:There's white-out on the screen.

]Q:What  is  the  difference  between  a
]blonde and a computer?
A:You  only  have to punch  information
into a computer once.

]Q:What  do  a  blonde and your computer
]have in common?
A:You  don't know how  much  either  of
them mean to you until they go down  on
you.

]Q:Why do blondes like tilt steering ?
A:More head room.

]Q:Why don't blondes eat pickles ?
A:Because they can't get their head  in
the jar.

]Q:Why do blondes wash their hair in the
]sink?
A:Because you wash vegetables there !

]Q:What  do  you call it when  a  blonde
]dies his/her hair?
A:Artificial Intelligence.

]Q:What does a dumb blonde say when  she
]gives birth?
A:Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

]Q:What do you call ten blondes standing
]ear to ear?
A:A wind tunnel.

]Q:Santa  Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb
]blonde,  and a smart blonde are walking
]down  the  street when they spot a  ten
]pound note. Who picks it up?
A:The dumb blonde.Why? There is no such
thing as Santa Claus,the tooth fairy or
a smart blonde.

]Q:Why  did the blonde scale  the  glass
]wall ?
A:To see what was on the other side.


 A  brunette  and a blonde are  walking
along  in  a park.  The  brunette  says
suddenly,"Aww,look at the dead birdie".
The  blonde  stops, looks up, and says,
"Where ?"


 A policeman pulled a blonde over after
she'd  been driving the wrong way on  a
one-way street.
[Cop: Do you know where you were going ?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must
be  bad because  all  the  people  were
leaving.

