 TEST
]------

 Suplied by MUT


]1.You are strolling down the street and
]suddenly  get an enormous erection. You
]just know people are staring at you.
  Do you :

a) Exclaim: "Well gosh! So that's where
I left my cucumber!"

b) Jump up and down hoping the erection
will disappear.

c) Grab the nearest girl, crying :"Hey,
are you the penis doctor? You've got to
help  me !  I just can't  control  this
thing!"


]2. A  25  stone woman wrestler falls in
]love with you and sits on your face. Do
]    you :

a) Imitate a pancake.

b) Pray she's been toilet trained.

c) Stick  your  finger up her  ass  and
sing, " I'm a little teapot  short  and
stout,here's my finger up your spout!"


]3. At an orgy, you suddenly  find  that
]you're the only person there without  a
]partner. Do you :

a) Go home and sulk.

b) Urinate  on  women  to   get   their
attention.

c) Walk round the room making a  survey
of stretch-marks and circumcisions.


]4. You are strolling  down  the  street
]late  at  night  and  look in  an  open
]window. Inside the house a  couple  are
]making love on the carpet. Do you :

a) Stomp off in disgust.

b) Ask if you can join in the action.

c) Get some chairs, and sell tickets to
the event.


]5. You've  fallen in love and this time
]you think it's  for  real. How  do  you
]handle it?

a) You  smile a lot and think how lucky
you are.

b) You  go  about  with   a   permanent
erection.

c) You  chain  yourself  to your  girl-
friends tits so you can be with her all
the time.


]6. Same situation as Question 5,but you
]begin to have regrets. How do you cope?

a) Tell her that you think you're maybe
not suited.

b) Tell her life's like a hot-dog - all
you  do is stick your sausage  between
her buns.

c) You  seek  a wicked sleazy whore who
will understand you.


]7. You've  met a new girl.  Should  you
]make love to her on the first date ?

a) No,you should wait at least 14 days.

b) Yes ,  the  sooner    the   better -
preferably  before she gets inside  the
house.

c) Yes, preferably before 10 pm, before
your prick goes to sleep.


]8. You are screwing this girl when  her
]28 stone wrestler boyfriend bursts into
]the room. Do you :

a) Whine pitifully.

b) Try 2 humour him with impersonations
of Shirley Bassey and Humphrey Bogart.

c) Say, "Oh hi there, I'm  a  doctor. I
was  just  testing   your   girlfriends
temperature with my penis thermometer."


]9. You  have just met this  woman  with
]humungous ( huge ) tits. What  is  your
]initial reaction?

a) You dislike big tits;they remind you
of grapefruit.

b) You start drooling.

c) Tell her she can feel yours  if  you
can feel hers.


]10. If,in the middle of a steamy screw,
]your weapon suddenly went  limp,  would
]    you :

a) Just die, because how could you face
reality again.

b) Take your cock in your hand and hold
it in front of your girl and cry, " Why
mercy me, you've gone and killed it!"

c) Whack  it  on the bedpost a few time
to see if you can make it hard again.


]11. Your kinky girlfriend wants to give
]you an enema. What is your reaction?

a) You  decline  saying  you  hate  all
water sports.

b) You say, " Oh goody that'll make  me
feel all warm and gushy inside!"

c) Tell her to fill it to the brim with
Bacardi and coke.


]12. You're in a crowded room with  your
]girl, and  you realise  that  you  just
]have to fart. Do you :

a) Hold it till you burst

b) Fart out loud then announce, "You'll
have to excuse my girl here, she has  a
spastic colon that retains gas!"

c) Put on  a gas-mask and blow the seat
out of your trousers.


]13. You're  chewing away on one of your
]girlfriend's nipples and it comes off.
]    Do you :

a) Spit it out and start on her warts.

b) Put  your finger in the hole to save
your new shirt.

c) Tell  her  she  wanted  to lose some
weight anyway.


]14. You've  climaxed and come too soon.
]Do you :

a) Tell her you work for  London Trans-
port and there'll be another along in a
minute.

b) Tell her your cock's burst  and  sue
for damages.

c) Pretend  you  are  drunk  and  start
making sexual advaces to her moped.


]15. Are  you  prepared for  all  sexual
]emergencies, if  not, what do you worry
]about the most.

a) Being courteuos and well-groomed.

b) You  have a morbid fear  of  jerking
off on her best velvet Chesterfield.

c) You have  a  morbid  fear  that your
balls will drop off and roll down some
disused sewer.



[Score : 2 points for every (c),
[        1 for every (b)
[    and none for any (a)'s.
