AMIGA MISTAKES


The following is a humourous look at 
some of the Commodore mistakes or 
improvements that we think they 
should have made. It is in no way 
intended to offend Commodore or 
discredit there products. Commodore 
products are among the best in the 
world (Ha Ha Ha Ha!), ok now for some 
fun...

[A note from Effead, this file is not 
intended to slag off at the Amiga, 
after all Atari has done some hum 
dingers itself - mouse/joystick port 
for one. But it does give you an 
opportunity to prepare your self for 
the next "My computer is better than 
your compuer" type arguments that 
seem to abound in the computer 
scene.]


[THE DRIVE LIGHTS

On the Amiga 500 the drive access 
light is green, on the 1020 drive 
they are both red. Why does the 1010 
only have one red light. What 
happened to the green light on the 
1020. What happened to the Green 
light on the 1010, it only has one 
red light. Maybe there was a sale on 
red lights, and there was a shortage 
of green lights?


DF0: DH0:

Why is the drive called DF1, it's a 
FLOPPY DRIVE, not a DRIVE FLOPPY, 
maybe they did it because D and F are 
beside each other on the keyboard. If 
that's the reason then why is a Hard 
Drive DH, its a HARD DRIVE, not a 
DRIVE HARD. I only DRIVE HARD in my 
CAR!.


[INSERT WORKBENCH SCREEN

Why is the picture of the hand 
inserting the workbench straight up 
when on the 500 you insert it from 
the side. On the Amiga 1000, its 
straight ahead. Have you tried 
inserting it while keeping your hand 
in the same position that they ask 
you to.


[COMMODORE AND AMIGA

Why do some 500's have one COMMODORE 
KEY and one AMIGA KEY, and other 
500's have two AMIGA KEYS. Maybe 
there was a sale on those too?.


[POWER SUPPLY SWITCH

Why is the power supply switch on the 
power supply, I guess its ok if you 
happen to be very agile with your big 
toe, or if you leave it on 24hrs a 
day.


[COMPUTER PORTS

Why are some ports on the 500 the 
opposite gender of the ports on the 
AMIGA 1000. What happened... another 
sale?.


[CHECKMARK
                               //
Why is there the Amiga Logo  \X/  on 
every piece of Amiga hardware except
the Amiga 500?


[THE DRIVE CABLE

Why is the 1010 and 1020 drive cable 
so short, maybe they wanted us to buy 
those small, cheap, commodore desks. 
The cable isn't long enough to put it 
anywhere else.


[THE 1080 MODEM

Why doesn't the 1080 Modem have a 
Volume Control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[THE MONITORS

Why are ther so many different 
Commodore monitors available for the 
Amiga, why don't they just build a 
good one instead!.


[THE 1010 DRIVE

Why is it that most 1010 drives 
cannot find a 1020 plugged into it, 
they say in the books that you can 
hook up more than one drive. If 
that's true then why can't the 1010 
find a 1020?.


[THE MOUSE

Why aren't there ball bearings under 
my mouse, I have them on my IBM 
mouse,
and it's alot better.


[INTERLACE

Why does interlace have to shake all 
the time..., were they drinking too 
much coffee at the time they worked 
on that part of the system?


[THE INSERT WORKBENCH SCREEN

With the graphic capabilities of the 
Amiga being so good, why did they put 
such a bad screen at powerup.  


[60 COLUMS

Why did they put the default width of 
the screen at 60 columns when the 
rest of the world is in 80 columns!


AMIGA ERRORS/COMMANDS AND REQUESTORS


NOT A DOS DISK:

This is supposed to mean that the 
disk in the drive is not formatted, 
what it really means is that the 
drive SCREWED UP and you have now 
lost all the information that you had 
saved onto that disk!.


[SOFTWARE TASK HELD

This is the stupidest of all 
requestors on the AMIGA, no matter 
where you click the computer is going 
to reset, and you loose everything in 
RAM, if that's the case then why have 
a RETRY or CANCEL option, they should 
just put a message on the screen 
saying "HA HA HA YOU LOOSE 
EVERYTHING!". 


[KEY 880 ERROR VALIDATING DISK

This is the phrase that the drive 
uses when it screws up, it blames its 
error on the disk validator, after 
all, how are you going to know 
anyway. I Think the guy who wrote 
DiskDoctor invented this bug just so 
we would use his program.


[NO DISK IN DRIVE

A polite way for the computer to say 
to you, "LOOK AT THE DRIVE STUPID, DO 
YOU SEE A DISK, I DON'T"


[NO DISK IN DRIVE (part2)

There is a disk, but the computer 
wants you to look at the drive 
because while you do that, it takes a 
break.


[CAN'T OPEN RE-DIRECTION FILE

This means the computer is just as 
lost as you are, you don't know 
what's happening, and neither does 
it!.


[CAN'T OPEN SERIAL DEVICE

This is the computers way of telling 
you it doesn't feel like talking to 
another computer.


[PLEASE INSERT WORKBENCH 1.2 IN ANY 
[DRIVE

This is just a test to see if you 
still happen to own the workbench 1.2 
disk, and make you search through 
hundreds of game disks.


[VOLUME RAM: IS FULL

This is the computers way of telling 
you that its time to buy a ram 
expansion module or start deleting 
the garbage you have in there at the 
moment.


[FILE IS NOT AN OBJECT MODULE

This is the computers way of telling 
you, Stop fooling arround in the CLI 
and load the workbench.


[INSERT VOLUME L IN ANY DRIVE

How many disks do you have named "L"?


[DISK IS WRITE PROTECTED

This is the computers way of telling 
you that it can't write the VIRUS on 
the disk until you remove the write 
protect tab!.


[UNKNOWN COMMAND

The computer is telling you that you 
have assigned your C directory to 
some forgotten place, or you typed 
wrong again.


[FAILED RETURN CODE 20

The computer displays this error just 
so you will have to go through 50 
pages of the AMIGA book to try and 
find out what it means. Meanwhile the 
CPU goes for a coffee.


[DISKCHANGE

This is used on the 1020 because the 
drive is too stupid to know when a 
disk has been removed or inserted. To 
see how stupid the 1020 really is, 
remove the disk and do a diskchange 
without having one in the drive. You 
will see that the drive doesn't even 
do anything or display anything. 
Stupid eh.


[DISKCOPY

This tells the computer to copy the 
same errors onto the other disk!.


[WHY

Gives you an unexplainable detailed 
uncomprihensible explanation of a 
situation you already don't 
understand.


[VOLUME DF0: IS FULL

The computer tell you that there is 
no more room on disk, it doesn't tell 
you that this is due to all the 
garbage you have to have on disk just 
to make the computer run.. ex. LIBS, 
DEVS,L,C,S, directorys.







